Dear Joe and Josie,
I’m sure you’ve heard about ‘SC beating us in the US News and World Report college rankings this year. While I’m not particularly perturbed, I hope you take the knocking to heart.
Please understand, I love you dearly. We’ve had a wild three years together, there’s no doubt about that. A new chancellor, that whole business with International Development Studies, the Labor Center…and let’s not forget how the Regents raise fees and then Tasered some folks when they were naturally bothered.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love you dearly, and you’ve done pretty good for me; Hawai’i in the past, DC in a couple weeks, giving me direction and purpose and that sort of thing. And the a cappella. I mean, damn. Producing the ScatterTones could forgive anyone almost anything. You’re not all bad, and it shows.
But, seriously, you’re in a bad way, and while I’m not big enough or loud enough to stage an intervention, consider this a love letter from a frustrated son. The prestige you use to pull applicants is starting to tarnish with all the fiascoes going on. I mean, antagonizing IBEW 11 over Pauley was a stupid move – you do live in one of the biggest union towns in America. Fixing Pauley this year raised a few eyebrows (and stop protesting, the Legislative Analyst’s office caught you misspending student fees. Just admit it.)
I mean, I’m trying to be realistic; I know that the problems generally aren’t your fault. And I know we’re all going to have to tighten our belts to get through this. (Graduating into a depression – er, recession – doesn’t make it feel any better for me, believe me.)
But your reactions are really bothering me – more dorms? More renovations? I don’t want to think you’re being disingenuous about money, but the construction doesn’t square with my friends dropping out, getting Tasered, or taking two or three jobs to finish.
Hey, maybe I’m not too bright, but…what the hell is wrong with you? And don’t blame Sacramento for all of it; you could’ve seen this coming when they passed Prop 13, and that was ages. You knew that you couldn’t rely on people – Californians admitted they didn’t want to spend on you ages ago. What happened? Why didn’t you admit this public before the whole country went to hell?
Goddamnit. I don’t know, I’m just really frustrated. But I’m sure you are too.